Mostly A's
ANALLY RETENTIVE ALEX
This personality likes things done a certain way: YOUR way! You are extremely organised with a system for everything, you are good with detail, abhor mess, are overly tidy, and can only work from a clean desk. Spontaneity is not your strong point – in fact, you could well be obsessive about many of your routines. Regarding your bowel habits, you prefer to 'hold back' until you can enjoy the privacy and comfort of your own bathroom. You tend to ignore ‘the urge’ if you are at work or in a public place, and simply concentrate on something else. You really don’t like to use any other loo but your own, as it is never clean enough or private enough for you. Using your own toilet helps you to stay in control. If you must use another toilet, you will wipe it down with paper, first!
Mostly B's
SLUGGISH SAM
This personality tends to move slowly and think slowly; you spend far too much time at your desk or sitting down at home. You don’t get enough physical exercise and, ironically, this tends to make you feel even more tired. Stress makes you irritable as well as more fatigued. You work too hard, expect a lot of yourself, and don't plan regular breaks. Regarding your bowel habits, you often leave the ‘urge to go’ as long as possible, as you feel that you are too busy, and have more important things to do. However, when you finally do ‘go’, you end up straining as you find that your bowel muscles have lost their natural rhythm. You hate being interrupted when on the toilet and silently curse such people under your breath, while attempting to 'hold back' until the offenders have left.
Mostly C's
NERVOUS NICKY
You’re an impatient and fast moving individual, who is a born worrier. You live off nervous energy, and your edgy reaction to any kind of stress gives you real physical symptoms (such as constipation). Regarding your bowels, you tend to become annoyed with yours – this is because you find the whole business of going to the toilet distasteful, and highly embarrassing. You’re the sort of person who would be mortified if interrupted when going to the toilet, so hence you prefer to get it over with as quickly as possible. Rather than wait for things to happen naturally, you will strain to get it over and done with, working against your natural rhythm and not achieving complete evacuation. This leaves you feeling bloated and unwell, which prompts you to fret about it being a more serious condition.
Mostly D's
GOOD TIME GEORGIE
You try and take life a day at a time, rationalising that there is little in life worth getting stressed about. You are a sociable, outgoing individual who lives for the good times, being with friends, and enjoying a good conversation or gossip. To this end, you will plough through your work, so that you can enjoy lunchtimes, evenings and weekends, guilt-free. Although you are a relaxed and easy-going individual, you sometimes burn the candle at both ends, resulting in an excess of food and drink playing havoc with your digestive system. This, in turn, gives you bouts of constipation. Regarding your bowels, you are completely unfazed. You see it as a natural act, and often make crude jokes about body functions as a way to ease any social embarrassment. You don’t mind using the toilets at work and may even take the newspaper in with you to help pass the time. Your philosophy is a trip to the toilet is a natural occurrence, so what’s there to get embarrassed about?
